21

Tough crowd today in the green room! No eye contact, no smiles, no nods from the other patients or hangers about. It’s like everyone has cancer and is going through a brutal treatment or something. Or maybe it was the awful Tilly hat I have taken to wearing because it actually provides shade for my whole neck, which is important when it’s insanely hot out. It was a t-shirt, sweat shorts and that. No sense in dressing up to go outside, walk fast, get covered in sweat and then get zapped. Luckily, I had a student paper to read and I just discovered the New York Times iPhone app, which downloads the whole thing into memory, so I read away, blissfully ignoring the socially awkward situation.

This whole slow onset of side effects thing is just surreal. The dry crackly feeling is slowing starting to flower into pain, and it’s surprising what bothers me and what doesn’t. Today I ate crackers with no problem, but long pasta with porcini mushrooms tonight kind of hurt. I ate it anyway, figuring it’s my last shot at it for awhile. You’d think the dry crumbly thing would be worse than the smooth, easy to chew thing. Go figure.

I’m sure that would have been better in haiku.